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God in Our Worst Times: "I commited adultery"

This is part of a blog series entitled, "God in Our Worst Times". A collection of stories from Christian families who have endured some of life's worst moments. They tell their stories to demonstrate how God pulled them through and to encourage the rest of the body that our God, is a good and loving God.

This post was written by Dave Negron. Dave and his wife Denise have been married for 9 years and they have 4 beautiful children. They are both Connection Group leaders at Life Connection Church in Phoenix AZ.

“I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO MY FAMILY”

Those were the words I said when I was 8yrs old. All I could hear was my mom yelling and my dad yelling back. I remember running to my bedroom, jumping on my bunk bed, and praying, “God please don’t let my parents ever divorce.” Fast forward to Dec. 30 1991 my 14th birthday. I was in Arizona visiting my aunt. When I heard the phone ring I knew something was wrong. My aunt began talking loud trying to calm my mom down. She gave me the phone and my mom said your father has left and is not coming back. The next day I was on a plane back to California. I had front row seats to see what adultery does in a home, a “Christian home” that is. I told myself I would never do that to my family.

April 10,1999 I’m getting married to the most beautiful woman in the world. We were high school sweethearts and I knew this was going to be perfect. I’ve always thought I knew how to be a husband and a father; I just needed to not do what my dad did. Easy.

3 months after getting married we were pregnant. No time was there to be alone for us. After Valerie was born in 2000 we had Alexis in 2002 and Ezekiel in 2004. Everything was going great, at least that’s what I believed.

Marriage troubles begin

In July 2003 I started this cycle of running from my problems and started to disconnect myself from the family. I tried maintaining 2 jobs just to stay out of the house because all I thought was that was my role in the home, bring in the money. During multiple moves back and forth from Arizona and California it became clearer and clearer that my marriage wasn’t right. My wife Denise is not happy. All of our problems or fights were financially based. I didn’t think she should be telling me what I needed to do. I made the money so I can spend it whenever and however I wanted to.

This continued for 3 years. In July of 2006 on my way home from work I remember the Lord speaking to my spirit warning me that if I didn’t repent I was going to lose my family and everything I have. I thought about it but no action took place.

The first week in November 2006 I was stressing out about money. A debt collector just attached my wages and I wasn’t bringing home the money. The night before Denise and I got in a huge fight and she threw out the word DIVORCE. I called her bluff.

The betrayal

The next day I went to the local mall in search of a part time job for the holidays. I stopped in a shop and a young woman was working. We started talking and I found myself enticed by her nice words, drowning out the words I heard the night before from my wife. Caught up in my pride, disobedience, lust, and selfishness, I committed adultery. The words “I would never do that to my family” flew by my mind. Immediately and I mean IMMEDIATELY there was an unrest in my life. I could not shake this for nothing. I hid it for 3 weeks.

Glory be to God alone whose unfailing hand of discipline was kept heavy on me until I broke and came to my senses. I confessed to my boss on November 27 2006 and told him I need to go and tell my wife. There was no dealing with this in private for me. I was scared but knew it was the only right thing to do. I was at the bottom of Harris Grade where a lot of people have died driving off the road. Maybe if I took my life I wouldn’t have to bare the pain and suffer any consequences for my sin. But the Lord again is faithful that he allows us to bare the consequences of our sin. That’s His Grace. I knew from that point on there was no turning back. I had to face the sin and accept the grace only given by God through Jesus Christ. That was the only thing I hung on to. Facing my wife, and fearing that she would leave me was a reality that I didn’t want to accept.

The confession

When I arrived at Denise’s job, I had her come out to the car so I can talk to her. My sunglasses were on to hide my tears. I told her “Babe I’ve done something bad, and I’m sorry, I’ve had an affair.” It got ugly, she ran inside called my friend Aaron and told him what I did. Talk about exposing, God means it about our sin when we hide it He will expose it. There was obviously issues that got us here but my act of adultery was not anyone’s fault except mine.

The few weeks that followed were some of the most memorable and life changing times. We were coming to Arizona for a weekend retreat called Encounter. It was there that God revealed His love, grace, passion, justice, and redeeming power in me life. I’ve grown up in church my whole life but this was so fresh and new, all I knew before went out the window. For the next year I kept my face in Psalm 51 by King David after he committed adultery. I paralleled my life after his by reading how he responded when his sin was exposed.

God begins to restore

God has lifted me back up in my marriage and my family. My life has never been the same. Truly God’s Word is true, Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose."

There has been evidence of redemption in our marriage but one of the most amazing things that God has blessed us with is our son Jedidiah. 2 Samuel 12:24-25

When David comforted Bathsheba, she gave birth to a son and named him Solomon and because the Lord loved him, he sent word through Nathan the prophet to name him Jedidiah.

We never knew that Jedidiah was a name in the bible and when we found it in this passage we knew that God was going to give us a son. Jedidiah is a reminder of God’s amazing grace and the power of His redeeming power.

No matter what stage of sin you find yourself in you must believe God can redeem you from that. It may be costly, it was for King David, but your definition of costly doesn’t compare to the cost of God’s one and only son Jesus Christ to die so that you can be redeemed. Ask yourself this “What’s it going to cost before I lose everything?” Our redemption is in the cross and if he has done it for me who deserved death then he can do it for you.

Copyright 2008 Kyle Campos @ Our Rising Sound

God in Our Worst Times: "When Suicide Hits Home"

This is part of a blog series entitled, "God in Our Worst Times". A collection of stories from Christian families who have endured some of life's worst moments. They tell their stories to demonstrate how God pulled them through and to encourage the rest of the body that our God, is a good and loving God.

This post was written by Jason Whitehorn. Jason is a worship leader at FBC Smyrna in Tennessee and tells the story below of getting through the tragic death of his grandfather.

"My grandfather is dead"

Who would have ever thought that the month of February in 2004 would be as cold as it was? The physical temperature was fine with highs between the 50’s and 60’s…but the chill I felt that February was numbing. I had come home from work and was doing some relaxing on the couch when my phone rang. To this day, I can’t remember if it was my mother or father who called…and I don’t remember the exact words said to me…but I remember being told a simple sentence that translated to “my grandfather is dead.” I vaguely remember not being able to speak and tossing the phone aside at the couch. My wife picked up the phone while I cried my heart into the couch cushions.

The details were chilling. My grandfather had spent the morning cleaning up after himself so my grandmother would not have to do any cleaning when she got home. She had gone to see a family member in the hospital. He changed clothes into an old t-shirt and an old pair of pants and went out into his garage. He had placed a note on the kitchen refrigerator – a note that we would later discover he had written well before the fateful day. He sat down on his favorite glider in the garage – and performed the unthinkable act.

After the initial shock wore off, my mind went where I am sure everyone’s mind goes: Why? Could I have prevented it? What happens to my grandfather now? Signs! There were no signs! How could we have missed this?!? I spent my next few months struggling with these thoughts and emotions.

Dealing with the guilt

Perhaps you have deal with or are currently dealing with the same issue. Perhaps you know someone who is dealing with the same issue. The quiet truth that I can provide to you is that God can heal your heart – and he provides us with many words in the Scriptures that answer many of our questions. It is easy to wonder “Why didn’t I see this coming?” or “could I have prevented this?” when dealing with the suicide of a loved one or friend. The truth is – it is rarely ever made known. I never knew that my grandfather was that upset with life. It turned out that he was going to have surgery on his hips and be confined to wheelchair for a short period of time. My grandfather simply did not want to subject his wife to his pain nor subject her to having to push him around and care for him. There were no signs…there was no idle talk…nor talk at all about suicide.

The Bible tells us in Proverbs that “the heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy.”  We hold our darkest fears inside. My grandfather’s suicide letter was written before he took his own life – but you would have never known it to talk to him. You may also wonder “Why could someone even think about suicide?” Having these thoughts is nothing new. In fact, we see references in the Bible to those who have at least thought about giving up their life for various reasons:

• Job said “I’d rather choke to death than live in this body. Leave me alone and let me die; my life has no meaning.” (Job 7: 15-16)
• Jonah was so stubborn to follow God’s word…stubborn enough that he uttered, “Lord let me die! I’d be better off dead.” (Jonah 4:3)
• Moses had the weight of his people on his shoulders and spoke to God, “I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. If this is how you are going to treat me, put me to death right now.” (Numbers 11: 14-15)
• Paul even battled with life and death saying, “If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I chose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far.” (Philippians 1: 21-23)

You see, even the strongest of men had the thought cross their mind. We all deal with grief, sorrow, and emotion differently. Some of us – like Job, Jonah, Moses, and Paul – deal with it by voicing it…or crying out to God with it. Some people – like King Saul who was grieving over the murder of his sons – carry out their thoughts in a moment of anguish. The truth is, only God know someone’s heart.  We can’t completely know what another is going through…nor does God expect us to take on the guilt of another’s decisions. Remember – it was their choice…not yours.

Suicide's impact on salvation

Perhaps the biggest issue we deal with is that of Salvation.  “What happens to my loved one now?  Will they go to hell?” I do think that suicide is wrong…do not mistake that…and I do know that the Bible says “thou shalt not kill” and I do not think that God made the distinction of “thou shall not kill…unless it is yourself you kill” – but at the same time I think that the mere thought of the fact that God treats suicide as an unforgiveable sin is outside of the teachings of the Bible.

No single sin, save rejecting God completely, is documented in the Bible that would be certain to prevent entrance into Heaven. Salvation is the ticket to Heaven…Colossians 2:13-14 tells us that our sins are forgiven…all sins…past present and future. If the sins in our life after salvation prevent us from going to Heaven…then – let’s be honest with ourselves…how many of us would be going to Heaven? The truth is, we cannot put God in a box. We cannot micro-manage God. We cannot assume that God shows mercy, grace, and love only on those who perform certain sins – but not others.

To this day, I have my own troubles dealing with what happened four years ago. I put my faith, however, in the fact that God has a far better handle on the issue than I do. It is perfectly okay for us to cry out in confusion. The Bible spends so many verses talking about crying out to God. How comforting it is to know that God hears those cries! When a baby cries – his mother and father hear it. Whether it’s a cry of “I’m hungry” or “I’m hurting” or “I need a diaper change” – a good parent knows that the simple act of holding the child and reassuring “it’s okay” works.  Much in the same manner, God holds us close to Him and tells us “its okay.” He did for me…and He can for you!

Copyright 2008 Kyle Campos @ Our Rising Sound

Ten Reasons to Share Musical Opinions Humbly

In today's technological age, it's easier than ever to be an armchair quarterback, criticizing and critiquing everything that is not the way we think it should be.  Music is certainly not immune.  Writes Bob Kauflin:

I’ve been musing recently about how we express our musical opinions. Why do we feel so strongly about songs, bands, and styles? And why do we draw conclusions so quickly? Nope. Don’t like it. That stinks. I can’t stand that kind of music. You like that stuff? Is there anything wrong with raving about the music/artists we love and and being swift to trash those we despise?

If we’re Christians, yes. Let me suggest ten reasons why musical forbearance might be good for our souls.

Continue reading

God in Our Worst Times: "Jerry is Dead"

This is part of a blog series entitled, "God in Our Worst Times". A collection of stories from Christian families who have endured some of life's worst moments. They tell their stories to demonstrate how God pulled them through and to encourage the rest of the body that our God, is a good and loving God.

This post was written by Scot Longyear. Scot is the Lead Pastor of Exchange which is part of Maryland Community Church where Scot is a Sr. Associate Pastor.

"Jerry Turley is dead."

I stared across the desk at my boss and Sr Pastor as he said the words.
"I just got a call that Jerry died in his sleep last night."

I felt like I was instantly in another world.  "Jerry Turley?  Who the heck is Jerry Turley?"
Then it hit.  Like somebody dropped a bag of concrete on my gut.  Jerry Turley, my friend.  Jerry, our drummer.  Jerry, who we had written and recorded songs with.  Jerry who we had done several gigs with.  Jerry, one the most gentle guys in the word.  Jerry a lover of Jesus.  Dead.

Jerry was just short of 40 years old.  One evening he went for a bike ride with his girlfriend.  He kissed her goodnight and she went home.  It was the last time Jerry would kiss.  He died hours later in his sleep.

Jerry's mom asked me to speak at the funeral.  I had to decline.  I was a mess.  There is a special bond that band people share.  Few may understand it.  When you create, play, laugh, worship, and rock together, there is something magical that happens.  That bond was broken and so was I.  I bawled thru the entire funeral.  My band mates and I grabbed the casket and carried it out the door and slid it in the hearse.  You never dream that you will be pallbearer for one of your friends.

I remember the days that followed.  One minute I would laugh, the next I would cry.  One morning after his death, I remember staring at the clothes in my closet.  The next thing I knew I was literally on the floor, bawling like a baby.  I missed Jerry.

It has been 10 years, and I still miss him.

I was in uncharted territory.  Jerry was the drummer for our band, Fish in the Sand.  Fish was the house band for a new and growing ministry called exchange.  The ministry was young and we were the only musicians and the only band.  As the leader I felt this pressure to keep things going.  How could we keep going with a crippled band?  My friends and bad-mates decided that the best thing to do was to take a few weeks off from worship leading.  We needed some time, and the church was gracious to allow us that.

New DVD in Passion Talk Series: Fruitcake and Ice Cream

Joining Indescribable, Hope-When Life Hurts Most, and How Great Is our God in the Pasion Talk Series from our longtime friend Louie Giglio is Fruitcake and Ice Cream.  This package includes a CD with five songs from artists including Chris Tomlin and Charlie Hall, while the DVD contains a powerful message from the recently completed Passion World Tour.

Writes Louie:

An amazing, real-life story of grace and mercy, Fruitcake and Ice Cream chronicles the life of a college senior, Ashley, who wanted little to do with God or most Christians she knew.  But unforeseen circumstances brought a new roommate for her final semester at the University of Florida, and suddenly everything in Ashley's life began to change.

Based on her personal journal entries, Fruitcake and Ice Cream is one of the most powerful stories I have ever heard, and a message I have had the privilege of sharing around the globe--most recently with over 100,000 university-aged young people on the seventeen-city Passion World Tour.  Honest, unfiltered and gripping, Ashley's journey will resonate with every seeker as well as provide an encouraging jolt to those of us in the Church who carry His life and light to the world.

It's a message that will change your life, and one I hope you'll share with everyone you know.

This, and any of the other Passion Talk Series installments is an ideal Christmas gift idea for any college student or young adult.

Purchase Fruitcake and Ice Cream DVD+CD

God in Our Worst Times: "2yr old Ethan hit by a truck"

This is part of a blog series entitled, "God in Our Worst Times". A collection of stories from Christian families who have endured some of life's worst moments. They tell their stories to demonstrate how God pulled them through and to encourage the rest of the body that our God, is a good and loving God.

This post was written by Josh and Christy Dailey. They serve as youth pastors at Life Connection Church in Phoenix AZ and have 3 children. They tell the story below of how they almost lost their first born son when he was hit by a truck.

One evening, my husband and I were sitting in our home after putting our two children to sleep for the night. Josh and I were so blessed with our then two-year-old son, Ethan, and six-month-old daughter, Avden. Knowing that our children were called and purposed for the Lord, we want to raise them according to His plan for their lives. This particular evening, we were praying for our first-born son, inquiring of the Father as to what Ethan would become. The words we received from the Lord were near identical:

"He (Ethan) is meant to impact the nations. This is not a cliche for him. Though he is young, he has been given a wise spirit.     He is strong (the name Ethan is translated  "Firm; Strong"). He will be My voice".

Saturday, August 27, 2005, about 2 weeks after hearing from the Lord regarding our son, began with great excitement. I had been working at a juice and smoothie shop, which was owned by my two older brothers, for most of the day and evening, and was getting prepared for a very special "Open Mic Night" event. The space was pretty packed out with customers who were enjoying the night of delicious beverage and the talents of various town-folk. As the night wound down, mostly only our closest friends still remained to hear the final band, which consisted of my two brothers and Josh. Feeling content with the day's work, I decided to clock-out and join my friends and hold my children.

As soon as I walked out from behind the counter, I grabbed my little boy and gave him the hug of a mother who hadn't seen her son all day. I loved holding his tiny body, as Ethan is fairly small for his age. I carried him to the front of the store and took a seat next to a friend who was holding my baby girl. It was nearing 9:00pm and Avden was getting fussy with sleepiness. As I put Ethan on his feet, I took Avden and rocked her gently to the melody that was being played. Feeling her begin to calm, I turn to look towards the back of the store where I thought Ethan had gone to play with some other kids. I can't see him. I stretch my neck farther, lean back and forth, to get a better view... I can't find him.

Ethan is hit head on by a truck

At that moment, a young man comes running through the front doors in obvious panic. "Please call 9-1-1. A kid was just hit by a car!" Right away, I knew that that kid was my son. "No...", I thought.  I couldn't seem to get outside fast enough. With my baby still in my arms, I find myself on the sidewalk outside. I turn to the left and see an image that will haunt me to this day.

Listening to Music for God's Glory

Bob Kauflin offers insight into choosing the type of music to listen to, without getting caught up into the usual pitfalls of over-indulgence or legalism.  Listen to the talk at Covenant Life, or read a summary at Bob Kauflin's blog.

What Is The Wasted Life?

Blogging to Worship God

Our friend Bob Kauflin tackles the topic of worshiping through blogging, and offers guidance as we seek to appropriately reflect Christ in our blogs, individual posts, and responsive comments.  

• Blogging to Worship God Part 1
• Blogging to Worship God Part 2
• Blogging to Worship God: Our Content
• Blogging to Worship God: Our Attitudes
• Blogging to Worship God: Our Motives

Barack Obama on Spirituality, Christianity, and Jesus

From BeliefNet:

The most detailed and fascinating explication of Barack Obama's faith came in a 2004 interview he gave Chicago Sun Times columnist Cathleen Falsani when he was running for U.S. Senate in Illinois. The column she wrote about the interview has been quoted and misquoted many times over, but she'd never before published the full transcript in a major publication.

Because of how controversial that interview became, Falsani has graciously allowed us to print the full conversation here.

Interesting read, with Obama elaborating on his views about sin, heaven, hell, church, salvation, and Jesus, with no editorial snippets to skew his views to the left or right.