This is part of a blog series entitled, "God in Our Worst Times". A collection of stories from Christian families who have endured some of life's worst moments. They tell their stories to demonstrate how God pulled them through and to encourage the rest of the body that our God, is a good and loving God.
This post was written by Dave Negron. Dave and his wife Denise have been married for 9 years and they have 4 beautiful children. They are both Connection Group leaders at Life Connection Church in Phoenix AZ.
“I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO MY FAMILY”
Those were the words I said when I was 8yrs old. All I could hear was my mom yelling and my dad yelling back. I remember running to my bedroom, jumping on my bunk bed, and praying, “God please don’t let my parents ever divorce.” Fast forward to Dec. 30 1991 my 14th birthday. I was in Arizona visiting my aunt. When I heard the phone ring I knew something was wrong. My aunt began talking loud trying to calm my mom down. She gave me the phone and my mom said your father has left and is not coming back. The next day I was on a plane back to California. I had front row seats to see what adultery does in a home, a “Christian home” that is. I told myself I would never do that to my family.
April 10,1999 I’m getting married to the most beautiful woman in the world. We were high school sweethearts and I knew this was going to be perfect. I’ve always thought I knew how to be a husband and a father; I just needed to not do what my dad did. Easy.
3 months after getting married we were pregnant. No time was there to be alone for us. After Valerie was born in 2000 we had Alexis in 2002 and Ezekiel in 2004. Everything was going great, at least that’s what I believed.
Marriage troubles begin
In July 2003 I started this cycle of running from my problems and started to disconnect myself from the family. I tried maintaining 2 jobs just to stay out of the house because all I thought was that was my role in the home, bring in the money. During multiple moves back and forth from Arizona and California it became clearer and clearer that my marriage wasn’t right. My wife Denise is not happy. All of our problems or fights were financially based. I didn’t think she should be telling me what I needed to do. I made the money so I can spend it whenever and however I wanted to.
This continued for 3 years. In July of 2006 on my way home from work I remember the Lord speaking to my spirit warning me that if I didn’t repent I was going to lose my family and everything I have. I thought about it but no action took place.
The first week in November 2006 I was stressing out about money. A debt collector just attached my wages and I wasn’t bringing home the money. The night before Denise and I got in a huge fight and she threw out the word DIVORCE. I called her bluff.
The betrayal
The next day I went to the local mall in search of a part time job for the holidays. I stopped in a shop and a young woman was working. We started talking and I found myself enticed by her nice words, drowning out the words I heard the night before from my wife. Caught up in my pride, disobedience, lust, and selfishness, I committed adultery. The words “I would never do that to my family” flew by my mind. Immediately and I mean IMMEDIATELY there was an unrest in my life. I could not shake this for nothing. I hid it for 3 weeks.
Glory be to God alone whose unfailing hand of discipline was kept heavy on me until I broke and came to my senses. I confessed to my boss on November 27 2006 and told him I need to go and tell my wife. There was no dealing with this in private for me. I was scared but knew it was the only right thing to do. I was at the bottom of Harris Grade where a lot of people have died driving off the road. Maybe if I took my life I wouldn’t have to bare the pain and suffer any consequences for my sin. But the Lord again is faithful that he allows us to bare the consequences of our sin. That’s His Grace. I knew from that point on there was no turning back. I had to face the sin and accept the grace only given by God through Jesus Christ. That was the only thing I hung on to. Facing my wife, and fearing that she would leave me was a reality that I didn’t want to accept.
The confession
When I arrived at Denise’s job, I had her come out to the car so I can talk to her. My sunglasses were on to hide my tears. I told her “Babe I’ve done something bad, and I’m sorry, I’ve had an affair.” It got ugly, she ran inside called my friend Aaron and told him what I did. Talk about exposing, God means it about our sin when we hide it He will expose it. There was obviously issues that got us here but my act of adultery was not anyone’s fault except mine.
The few weeks that followed were some of the most memorable and life changing times. We were coming to Arizona for a weekend retreat called Encounter. It was there that God revealed His love, grace, passion, justice, and redeeming power in me life. I’ve grown up in church my whole life but this was so fresh and new, all I knew before went out the window. For the next year I kept my face in Psalm 51 by King David after he committed adultery. I paralleled my life after his by reading how he responded when his sin was exposed.
God begins to restore
God has lifted me back up in my marriage and my family. My life has never been the same. Truly God’s Word is true, Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose."
There has been evidence of redemption in our marriage but one of the most amazing things that God has blessed us with is our son Jedidiah. 2 Samuel 12:24-25
When David comforted Bathsheba, she gave birth to a son and named him Solomon and because the Lord loved him, he sent word through Nathan the prophet to name him Jedidiah.
We never knew that Jedidiah was a name in the bible and when we found it in this passage we knew that God was going to give us a son. Jedidiah is a reminder of God’s amazing grace and the power of His redeeming power.
No matter what stage of sin you find yourself in you must believe God can redeem you from that. It may be costly, it was for King David, but your definition of costly doesn’t compare to the cost of God’s one and only son Jesus Christ to die so that you can be redeemed. Ask yourself this “What’s it going to cost before I lose everything?” Our redemption is in the cross and if he has done it for me who deserved death then he can do it for you.
Copyright 2008 Kyle Campos @ Our Rising Sound
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